Don’t Let Gratitude Hibernate

Mitch Arnold • December 27, 2023

Six months ago, sitting on my patio, enjoying the abundant sunshine and warmth, I thought to myself, “What a great time to be alive!” The sun shined from the time I awoke until nearly the time I went to bed. I could have the windows open to let the fresh air in, and didn’t have to wear warm, bulky clothes. Summer weather gave me a lot to be thankful for.


I thought about that moment last week, during the winter solstice. Now, I awake and eat dinner with darkness outside. The windows are closed shut, and I’m wearing layers, even inside. Though winter weather doesn’t inspire much gratitude, gratitude should not hibernate. We just need to look harder to find it.


That’s kind of the way it goes with gratitude. When we need it most, it’s the hardest to find. It’s easy to be grateful when everything seems to be going your way. The sun is shining. You’re warm and happy, and tomorrow is something you eagerly anticipate. But what about those days when there’s more darkness in your life than sunshine? When you feel that the world is giving you a cold shoulder, and you worry about what challenges tomorrow will bring?


That was most of 1993 for me. In 1992, I had wrapped up a successful college experience, and became a high school teacher. It was now time to cash in on my hard work and dedication. Everything was going to be like college, except with a little more money and a lot less worry about college classes. Unfortunately, most of my friends were back in college, and I started to feel a little separated from them. Then, right before Christmas in 1992, my long-time girlfriend dumped me. Suddenly, nothing seemed right, and gratitude very rarely crossed my mind. When I needed gratitude most, I simply couldn’t find it.


I lost a year of my life wallowing in a negative mindset, because I wasn’t yet skilled in the art of gratitude. Sure, family and friends encouraged me to focus on all that I had to be thankful for, but I was 23 years old and lacked perspective, so I put up a wall, and instead focused on all that I had lost. To live in gratitude, you must learn how to control your thoughts, and I wasn’t there yet.


Gratitude is precisely what we need during challenging times in our lives. Beyond what gratitude does for a person’s outlook on life, it’s also proven to reduce depression and anxiety, boost heart health and relieve stress – in other words, it’s almost the perfect antidote for the mental and physical complications we experience when we’re dealing with life’s darkness.


Fortunately for me, at the end of 1993 – almost to the day of getting dumped in 1992, I rekindled a romance with my future wife, and we’ve been going strong for thirty years. Still, I wish that I hadn’t ceded so much of that year to darkness.


If darkness inside or outside has you feeling down, consider adding gratitude to your daily routine. Before you get out of bed in the morning, think about things that you are thankful for, even consider writing them down or sharing them with others. When negativity creeps into your mind, which it invariably will, use gratitude as a shield, and watch those thoughts of gratitude crowd negativity right out of your mind. Be consistent with these efforts, and soon, gratitude will become a habit.



No matter how dark and cold it may get, don’t let your gratitude hibernate.

But, Could It Be Better?

By Mitch Arnold • July 26, 2026
When facing challenging situations, my go-to response is often “it could be worse.” It’s raining: it could be worse. We could be scooping this stuff. It’s hot outside: it could be worse. At least we have air conditioning. The “it could be worse” response is a simple and common way of putting things into perspective, summoning at least a modicum of gratitude and showing the absurdity of petty complaining. Unfortunately, it can also blind us to the potential of “it could be better.” I say it aloud frequently when I am with people, but I also mutter “it could be worse,” to myself when I am alone and struggling with my mobility. That simple phrase has brought me peace and acceptance, as I have experienced progressive physical challenges throughout most of my entire adult life. While things could definitely be worse, and I’m right to summon gratitude when negativity creeps in, I was recently reminded that sometimes things could be better, and if that’s possible, I should do everything I can to make them better. For more than 40 years, I have lifted weights five to six times per week, and that has allowed me to maintain a fairly active lifestyle, but lifting alone isn’t cutting it anymore. Despite frequent exercise, I have struggled to get around more than usual for the past year or so, and that has made my world even smaller. Despite this, I persisted with a positive attitude and told myself, “it could be worse.” Not until the discomfort and limitations began to prevent me from doing things I should be doing, like meeting friends for breakfast, did I consider the possibility that things could be better. Making sure that I realized this was my wife Lynda who had been on me to try physical therapy, since my primary physician wrote a prescription for it a year and a half ago. I resisted because, though I am positive about almost everything else, I was pessimistic about what modern medicine could do for me. I had done physical therapy as a child, and have undergone several medical procedures that did little to improve my condition and seemed to provide only frustration. How was this going to be different? But it was. After only two sessions and a daily regimen of stretching and purposeful movement over the past four weeks, plus the strength training, I have already improved my mobility. Stairs are easier and walking, less painful and troublesome. That has greatly helped my energy level, focus and confidence. Even when I fell and sprained my ankle a couple of days ago, the recovery was easier. While things could definitely be better, they could also be much worse, as they were for me a month or so ago. Had I not relented and at least considered the possibility that things could be better, I would have continued being unnecessarily limited. Are you unnecessarily limited? If you are going through a difficult period in your life – maybe your job or a relationship isn’t as fulfilling as it once was – consider the possibility that things could be better. Always lean into gratitude for what you have, but don’t let resignation obscure options for improvement.

Don’t Skimp on Experience

By Mitch Arnold • May 25, 2026
Recently, as occasionally happens when I watch the golfers on the course behind my home, I caught myself thinking about what it would be like to be out there again. Only this time, I also thought about the cost of golf, and began calculating how much I’ve saved by not golfing over the past 20-some years. Of course, I would rather golf than have the money I saved by not golfing, but due to a physical disability that increasingly limits my life, that isn’t an option. Thus, instead of fretting about something I can’t change, I comforted myself with math and tested my mastery of the positive explanatory style . With green fees, cart and the obligatory cold beverages, I estimated that each round would have cost me around $75. If I got out twice per month over five months of relatively nice Nebraska weather, I would golf approximately ten rounds per year, for a cost of $750. Multiply that by 20 years, and I’ve saved $15,000 or the cost of a pretty nice motorcycle. I used to ride motorcycles too, but haven’t been able to do that in more than 30 years. If I were still riding motorcycles, I figure that I would have probably had at least two during that time. Factoring in taxes, insurance and maintenance, I estimate that I’ve saved nearly $50,000 by not riding motorcycles for the past three decades. I also haven’t used a comb or paid for a haircut in nearly 30 years. However, unlike golf and motorcycles, that has nothing to do with my disability and everything to do with my genetics. Still, by avoiding monthly haircuts at $20 a pop, I’ve been able to save over $7000. I share this exercise with you not to try to talk you out of spending money on the things that bring you happiness, quite the opposite actually. You should absolutely do the things you love while you still can. In almost all cases, the money you spend on experiences is an investment in your life, and you owe it to yourself to get the most out of life that you can. Most of us, at some point in our lives, will lose the ability to do the things that once brought us happiness, and all that we will have left will be the memories. When that happens, we should cherish the memories of all that we have experienced, and look for other outlets to enhance our lives. Travel now fills the gaps once occupied by golf and motorcycles. With the help of my wife and some incredibly supportive friends, I’ve been able to visit some remarkable places like Charleston and Nashville, and enjoy unforgettable experiences, like a Green Bay Packers football game and the NCAA Final Four. Admittedly, travel gets a little more difficult each year, but that only increases my urgency to do more of it and enhances my gratitude of what I can still do, because I know that, some day, if I live long enough, I’ll be calculating the money I’m saving by not travelling. Television writer and producer Taylor Sheridan agrees, as you can see in this clip from the Paramount+ series, The Madison. https://www.youtube.com/shorts/tydIBHknM_s Don’t wait until everything is in order to invest in experiences. Accept the golf invitation. Buy the motorcycle. Take the trip. Prioritize making memories while you still can, because some day, those memories are going to be more valuable than whatever you have in the bank.